You WILL Get Crapped On

Well, there’s something to look forward to! John, sitting across the table at lunch yesterday, said to this newbie RVer, ‘I guarantee you, you WILL get crapped on!’ We were talking about the details of emptying the black tank which is the nastiest job Laurie and I will have to deal with. We’ve included a few sponsor videos to possible ways NOT to get crapped on!

John’s story. “We were having company stay over at the house so Mary Beth and I decided to sleep in the motorhome to give everyone more room. We had not emptied the black tank since our last trip so I drove it to the public sewer station to dump it. Now, mind you, it was hot out and that crap had been stewing in that tank for a while so you can just imagine… Well, the dumping set-up was different than usual and somehow I didn’t do it right. The contents blasted out of the hole all over me! There I was standing there with crap all over the front of my shirt and pants! I called the wife and she said, ‘You’re not coming in the house like that!’

There was a firehouse there. The thing with a firehouse is there are only two speeds, on and off, and, especially as a guy, you have to be careful with that pressure! I managed but when I tell you you will get crapped on, chances are you will!”



Jason got it bad! “Bought a brand new 2017 camper in early May. I’ve used and rented campers before and am fully aware how all dump hoses work etc. The dealer does the full walk around with me to demonstrate everything to me as I’m taking delivery. Well they didn’t tell me that all the drain pipes were left wide open. I take my new toy out the first weekend I have it and had a great time until I go to the dump station as I’m leaving the campground. I pull the caps and immediately take a pop bath as I’m trying to scurry to get the cap back on the pipe.. I got covered in poo from about waist down.

Funny follow up to that is I’m single and when people ask me if I’ve got a girlfriend I tell them she’s 7k pounds and 38′ long and in my driveway. My dad of course says yep, and she still shits on you!!”


Lewis learned the hard way! “I was with my parents years ago traveling from Ontario Canada to Florida. I was watching my father hook up the drain hose for the septic, he opened the valve to drain the septic and we were greeted by a smelly gusher as a result of a defective hose. We couldn’t wait to hit the shower (which we also drained out).” I can picture Chris watching the process intently as kid’s do and then getting blasted! He continues, “Lets just say that we always turned and looked away after that AND duct tape was never in short supply! LOL”



Cat T gets an Independence Day Blast! “After picking up my first ever ‘new to me’ trailer recently and driving back to across 5 states, I stopped for the first night. The next morning was 4th of July and as my ‘independence’ gift to myself, I asked 2 employees to teach me how to properly dump. We all wore gloves & they proceeded to teach me. As the urine/water mix came out, we realized there was a leak in the sewer hose, then another further on, then a third further on. I felt like I was in a remake of ‘Vacation” with Chevy Chase. And that was my first exposure (no pun intended) to dumping. I will wear wellies the next time I dump!!”


Oh Val, I felt for you and your 8 year old after reading this! ” I stayed at an older built park a few months ago in AZ. While trying to connect the hose to the sewer drain unfortunately none of my attachments would fit into the hole. I tried all three that I had including one that cones down to fit all sizes of drains but still didn’t fit. My smallest attachment was about a half inch to big to fit. We were many miles away from any sort of store that would have a different attachment for me to buy so I had to improvise. Of course I was parked to far away to pull the black tank open and hold the hose over the sewer drain by myself. So I asked my 8 year old son to come out and give me a hand. I held the tube over the drain and told him to gently pull the black tank valve open. Being 8 years old his interpretation of gentle I guess was to open the valve fully and here comes the black waste flowing down the tube full speed ahead. Keeping in mind that my connection was not fully inside the sewer drain the half inch gap around the opening lead to a lovely escape for the black waste to come out of. Before I could even tell my son to close the valve a steady stream of black water was spraying out like a fountain right onto my legs and into my shoes. Seconds prior to him opening the valve I was bent down and I am so glad I stood up slightly or else that lovely stream would have hit me right in the face. Luckily no big solids seeped though the gap but still my legs, socks and shoes were covered in a wretched smelling drippy mess. My son managed to close the valve back up and I made a mad dash to the shower to get cleaned up. It was easy to clean myself up but my shoes were a different story. I washed them two or three times and wore flip flops for the remainder of the trip till I knew they were clean and dry.

My second attempt to to get the black tank empty was a success. With the help of my 8 year old little buddy again, We stacked a bunch of bricks, wood and a lot of duct tape all around the hose leading into the sewer to hold it down securely in place. I opened the valve SLOWLY and finally emptied the tank without any leakage. Since this trip I purchased a smaller connection to fit any size drain and of course have never needed to use it.”



Kelly gets elbowed! “I bought a transparent elbow for draining my black tank in order to know when it is flowing clear. After hooking everything up and opening the valve the elbow filled up and everything stopped. I tried everything I could think of but to no avail. I finally pulled shut off the valve and pulled out a 5 gallon bucket. After setting it under the joint, I held my nose and removed the elbow from the drain spout. Fortunately I was able to catch most of the residual and immediately recognized that the elbow had a clear plastic cover taped over the end which contained a fitting for the flush feature. I removed the plastic piece and tape, hooked my sewer line back up and finished draining my tanks. That was a close one!”


Thank you for all the wonderfully funny stories contributed for this article about being crapped on!  Carry on RVers!

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